The movie evening: Despite the advice to not invest anything in this relationship (I use the term loosely) ... I continued to pursue this idea of the two of us. It was beyond my control at this point. I was already imagining us spending the summer together in Africa and making hot jungle love. By the way, he said he thought mulatto children were some of the most beautiful children. I was smitten. Well, maybe not so much by that comment but by him in general. And it sorta seemed like he was interested in me too. He was surely impressed with me interning and going to Paris with my internship. But I wasn't 100 percent sure if that was the extent of it. By the end of the semester he was crazy busy. I barely ran into him, unless he was on his way to the library. By the way, I ran into at the library in the infamous sweats outfit. We still flirted with each other from different rooms during our group projects. Then again, I should mention how he turned down my dinner request. I was going to cook, but he said he was going to be in the library all day. I later saw him in the kitchen cooking his dry pasta and chatting it up with his friend 'Roxie' (who is pretty unattractive, I know shallow, to say the least). After all of this and even recapping this --- I'm not sure what this was.
The let down: Well, sadly after my return from Paris (for the internship) my grandmother passed away the very next day -- on a Thursday morning (London time). I booked my flight and prepared to go home. I debated letting him know that Sunday that I was leaving. Most of my friend's in the U.S. said I shouldn't let him know and just leave. On the other hand, some of my London friends thought otherwise. So, I followed the advice which I liked best. I slipped him a note underneath his door that Sunday morning and told him that I had a family emergency so I would be returning back to the States. I wished him 'Happy Holidays' in the note. It was the last week of school with finals and such, but I'm certain he knew we wouldn't see each other before January. I received a text message saying that he was sorry to hear of my emergency, hoped everything was OK at home and wished me happy holidays. It was a bit disappointing, I admit. A text??? Then, I figured maybe I should just tell him that she passed away. So, I sent him a text back saying my grandmother had just passed and I had to leave and would miss the rest of the semester. Again, I received another text message. This time he was offering his condolences and of course, wishing me a happy holiday. To say the least, I was blown away. I would think at the very least, he would've knocked on my door to say this. But to avail, no knocks. I discussed the situation with the lady on the plane sitting next to me (only after she divulged her love life and this was the closest thing going on in my life at the time. Remember I had only met Sam the day before). She seemed to think that some people couldn't handle death well. Still, I was a bit disturbed about the whole ordeal. I mulled over the thought a little bit over the holidays and decided to Facebook Friend Request him. He accepted my request.
His life, not mine: I looked at some of his pictures and tried to picture what one of my friends always says to me, "Can you see yourself in his life and his lifestyle?" I thought I could ... until I began looking at his pics of him back in Canada. I couldn't see it. I couldn't see him with his family and me in the mist of it. It became a hardening reality. I just ran into Richard in the hallway yesterday. He asked about my break, telling me he knew it had to be tough, but he was surprised that I came back and instead of being with my family for Christmas and New Year's. I explained to Richard, at least twice prior, that I had friends who were visiting with non-refundable tickets. My family understood, why couldn't he? As if he was the messiah on family relationships and he was trying to dissect mine. Eh. I digress. So, nonetheless --- amazingly enough and to the delight of a couple of my friends the spark that was once there last semester is gone. I was able to see him and not feel anything. Oh, I'm still friends with him ... I just loaned him my "Drumline" DVD, knowing how much he likes movies of the sorts. He hadn't seen it before so he was quite interested. Well, that's another chapter wrapped up with a pretty little bow. At least that round wasn't so bad. Here's to Hoping ...
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