Thursday, January 8, 2009

Men of another generation ...

In case I failed to mention it earlier, Sam is 24 and I'm 28. This may be the cause for some of the breakdown in communication. Who knows?

Friday arrived: and I received an e-mail from him telling me how he was clubbing until 7 a.m. that morning and he was 'so tired' b/c he had to be to work by 9:30 a.m. OK, I thought that was forgivable, especially considering he said either Sunday or Monday would work best for him. I didn't think much of it, since I was tired from just getting in from Paris that night prior. And still, my friend was in town -- he reminded me of that, despite the fact that she said it was alright if we went out (she was tired and wanted to stay in the entire weekend).

So, here we stand: Both Sunday and Monday passed without seeing each other. A few e-mails floated my way with apologies for the lack of communication ... this time, he had lost his phone. So, at this point I was a bit fed up. My friend had left that Monday (he knew what day she was leaving) and I was still getting these e-mails. I would typically excuse the lack of the phone problem --- HOWEVER, I knew he had another phone. He e-mailed me Tuesday night about how he was stressed about his dissertation and had to meet with his professor the next day. I knew I had to do something at this time, because I wasn't happy with how things were going.

And the end of Sam: He was on campus at noon Wednesday to meet with his professor. I received an e-mail from him at 7:30 that night saying he was in the library if "I wanted to stop by and say hello." I was immediately like, "WTF! Am I not the one who lives on campus? Shouldn't he come by to visit me?" Nonetheless, I took it as a moment of overreacting and went on. I dressed up a bit, put on some make-up and headed to the library two hours after his initial e-mail. I knew he was going to Amsterdam the following day with friends, so I wanted to just get things over with. I was tired of thinking, "He's Just Not That Into You." I wanted to get it over with quickly. So, I went in the library and he could tell I was upset about something. He said, "I can tell you're distraught or disappointed by your facial expression." I told him that was pretty accurate.

The final goodbye: I told him, that I didn't like the way things were going on. I didn't like the lack of communication and how I am a bit frustrated with everything. He said he understood and knew he was wrong. He knew he was wrong! That was the only solace he had to say. Nothing to repair the situation, but admittance to knowing he was wrong. I was completely confused at this point. Out of nowhere he says, "I really like your face. I've always liked it." Was he trying to throw me off with some sorta flattery? Sam then said he needed to think about everything while he was in Amsterdam. I'm not sure what he had to think about, because I was finished. As I told him, "When I'm done, I'm done." He asked why I felt that way and I just never responded. I personally don't see any sense in going back and forth in something that's already spoiled. Enough is enough already. Don't you think?

And lasting advice: So, I e-mailed my step-mother about the situation. Unfortunately, her advice wasn't all that sweet. She seems to suggest that men of the younger generation are into texting and e-mailing. Apparently, I should find something wrong with wanting to be courted like a lady. She also concludes that I may be getting too old to be so picky, b/c after all 28 is the new 58 -- am I right? Well, this is what I have to say ... He may be cute, but I'm most certainly cuter.

1 comment:

  1. I don't think there's anything at all wrong with expecting polite, gentlemanly behavior. He owed you a phone call and some honest communication, if nothing else. Your expectations aren't too high -- I think we, "as a society," have started to accept a much lower standard of behavior, and that's ridiculous.

    You had the courage to stand up for yourself and remedy the situation, and I applaud you! :) Sometimes I let things go on for far too long, even when I know the relationship isn't going the way I want it to. Sam just wasn't the one. But at least you had some good times to carry with you?